I know.

I feel like Han Solo.
Like even though I love someone, I have a million things keeping me from really just expressing it in the way I want to.

Like when Leia tells him that she loves him and his only response is "I know."

I love you. I know.

Its not that I don't love her still. If you ask me if I love her still the answer will be emphatically "yes." But I lack the capacity to express it to her. Maybe someday I will be able to say it in a way that actually means something again.

Maybe I'm more like Atlas. My job is not to love, but to do some greater task, like hold up the world.

Maybe all I need is some more time. Maybe another month? Like February 12th?

Maybe then I will prepare for my battle.

and if all else fails, at least I still have my band.

Or maybe no one will even be able to decipher my hidden messages.